Watching the final fare wells of the Oprah shows I could not agree with her more as she spoke that thru the 25 years, guest after guest and with many varied topics that there was a common thread…..Everyone only wanted one thing and one thing alone as their foundation……and that is acceptance. To feel worthy, to be validated, desired, just for who you are, not for what you can do or what you have. Having someone notice that you have qualities of importance and integrity.
As I was doing one of my Bible Studies recently I wrote in my journal something that set me back on my chair.
YES….off the end of my pen came words that nearly paralyzed me. Something I have wanted for me since my earliest years and here I found myself guilty in how I related to my Lord. I saw that I had been seeking Him for pain relief and approval and not “just because” of who He is. I actually felt stunned, as I did not realize that I was doing that. Now, this is my self judgement but I know that I desire my heart to be so loving and tender towards Him. I was seeking him as an answer to my “whatever” more than simply just loving to be in His presence. Oh, how I got caught up in more asking than having a relationship.
So the very way I wanted to be treated wasn’t how I was living with God. Not so pretty, right? It never ceases to amaze me that the very thing I want isn’t what I am giving out.
So, for today, just for today, I want to spend time with my Lord, just the two of us, sharing, laughing, enjoying together the smells of fresh rain and spring blossoms…..to hear the birds return and know nesting is taking place.
My prayer is that He would wrap me in a cocoon until WE are glued… cemented solid and then the beautiful birth of relationship can be built upon for His glory and that others would be drawn to see my Jesus.