I’m sure if my neighbors could have heard me this morning, they would have thought I was either reprimanding my children or having a nervous breakdown. If they had been able to see into my windows they surely would have seen a maniac woman, throwing her hands up, and screaming at who knows what.
For days now,my family and I have been under attack and it has left me crying, depressed, feeling sorry for myself, and alone. I know that the devil knows where he can really hit us – and he has been stringing me along like a puppet.
I never doubt what I need to do but sometimes it just feels easier to sit in self loathing! Yes, even Jen Ruzicka feels sorry for herself! As I sit here by myself, I am ashamed of my selfishness. I am ashamed because I know what is happening – I can see it unfolding; yet, I continue to play that “woe’s me” song we all love.
As Dan has told people, “My wife doesn’t need anyone standing up for her because she’s pretty good at doing it herself”. I dont always feel the need to stand up for myself but today I did. I finally made the decision to stand up and fight.
I screamed at the top of my lungs, “You can stand in front of me, you can block my way, shackle my ankles- but you will not stop me! You will not snuff out the spirit living inside me!” “I will walk right through you, I will break the bonds that hold me- you may make me fall, but I will rise up”. “I will continue this journey, I will answer the call, and I will bring women to Christ.” “I do not accept these lies that you whisper, I banish them and promise you…I will lead the army of Gods daughters in your final take down”.
Wow- I feel better! We all face Satans lies, torment, and trials but we do not have to accept them. We must prepare ourselves for battle and rise up.
Currently, I am an army of one but together we are a mighty force! So yell, scream, fight for what God has promised us and remember what 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladley of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong”.
Love to you, Jen